Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Ok, ok, I know, Pitter-Patter is not an emotion, but it is the sound my heart was making as us girls got the finishing touches done on hair and makeup... it was a combination of 'excited', and 'nervous', so Pitter-Patter will be the name of the next emotion, k?!
For those of you following, be sure to catch up on the emotions of a bride (yep, this bride) on my wedding day: CALM, TORN
The family issue had been 'dealt with' (I use the quotes for all the reasons discussed earlier... it had been dealt with in the best way I knew how how to at the time... moving on), and time seemed to be moving faster and faster. My girls were mostly ready for the day, my hair had been sitting in curlers all morning, but let's face it ladies, I still looked like this:
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
My next installment of my reference list is here... shoe adornment!!
When I saw Jess's post on her gorgeous wedding shoes (that's Miss Budget Savvy Bride of course!), I did not hesitate for even a second before adding this mini-DIY to my list!! I lovelovelove shoes, and I was super-thrilled with my purple wedding heels, and I thought this was a perfect way to add a little bit of character to the sole's of my toes! Afterall, these bad-boys deserved some love... they were supporting me while taking the walk of my life right?!
I just love how Jess's look so whimsical!! BUT, let's face it, I am an engineer, so my glitter letters (don't they look exactly like Jess's?! yep... stole that idea point-for-point!!) are freakishly symmetrical!!
Thanks for the brilliant inspiration Jess! I loved putting these on, and even though no one but me and my girls knew about it, it made me smile when I thought about it! Of course, now that people see the pictures, they keep coming to me saying "what an adorable touch! great idea"... I agree... great idea! Like I said... no point in re-inventing the wheel! If the detail leaves an impression on you, go for it, rock it! I reiterate... it's the finest form of flattery right?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
My makeup was done, and it was time to start the hair. We were running a bit behind schedule, but I wasn't going to get too worked up about it. There was one thing left that needed a decision... and this is where I felt TORN.
If you have been reading a while, you will remember that I have had some struggles with my father. I wrote a (PART 1) post on whether or not my dad would be walking me down the aisle... and I never finished the story. I had a couple of reasons for not finishing it, but for all of you out there who were awaiting the results, it wasn't fair of me to leave you hanging. I didn't write about it again, because it was simply too painful. BUT, the wedding has come and gone, and I really want to share the story with you now, so that it can serve as 'one bride's experience' that might help other ladies in similar situations prepare for what family-conflict really looks like in a wedding.
So, backing up... I told you all that I did NOT want my dad walking me down the aisle. And I didn't. I felt very strongly about it. You all gave me strength to trust my own emotions and perspectives, and I forged ahead with my plan... my mom would walk me down the aisle. Period. I set a date to go and talk with my dad, my fiance in tow, and this is generally how it went:
ME: "So, dad, I am going to tell you something that you probably won't like hearing. I want you to know though that I am not telling you this to hurt you, but because it is very important to me. I want my mom to walk me down the aisle".
DAD: "As in, you want your mom to walk you down the aisle with me?"
ME: "No, I want my MOM to walk me down the aisle"
DAD: "Well, if you do that, there is no f-in way I will be at your wedding. AND, you can count on the rest of my family not being there as well"
ME: "I am sorry you feel that way dad. I obviously want you to be a part of the day, and I thought you would understand that my mom deserved this role, since she has been my rock throughout my entire life".
DAD: ... let's bring up every LAST issue we have ever encountered in our relationship, and try to use it to manipulate Tiffany into coming to her senses, and have me walk her down the aisle because I will be so damn embarrassed if I have to sit in the audience and watch her mom do it.
ME: "dad, please, if you want to discuss this, can you NOT open that bottle of wine?"
DAD:.... oh, now she is going to tell me not to drink. Yes, I am an alcoholic, but I can not face this torture of hearing that I am not important enough in my daughter's life to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day, and I HAVE TO DRINK...
ME: "this obviously isn't going anywhere, I am leaving"
It was a very dramatic conversation, and I left devastated. My man was finally witness to the drama that is my father, and I think the experience helped him to understand me even better. BUT, at the end of the day, my dad told me he wouldn't come to my wedding. AND, he promised to tell the rest of his family not to come either. This might seem trivial to some people, but I am extremely close to his family, and they made up more than 1/3 of our guestlist! Although it should be true that if they weren't there to support me, and if they chose my dad over me, then they weren't that important in the first place, but come on, as a bride, I did not want to come face to face with that reality on my wedding day?!
So, I don't speak to my dad for the month or so between that conversation and our wedding. I email him and leave voicemails to find out whether or not he is attending the wedding. He finally emails me back (three days before the wedding) to tell me that he has decided he will come to the wedding, but to nothing else (bbq, brunch, etc), and he will not participate at all in the wedding events. I should have been happy right?! Well, the simple fact is this: there was NO good solution. At this stage of the game, the hurt had been suffered, the hurtful words had been spoke, and it was simply a lose-lose situation.
The day before the wedding we had a rehearsal. My mom walked me down the aisle. I bawled. I imagined the look on my dad's mom and sister's faces as they watched my mom walk me down the aisle. I wondered if I was making the right decision. I wondered if it was going to ruin my day the next afternoon seeing the hatred in their eyes knowing I had hurt my dad so much by excluding them (I have seen this look before, and it sucks!).
The picture at the top of the post is just as I was about to get my hair done. My sister came to me asking what I was thinking about my dad. I told her I didn't know what to do. She told me she could have a discussion with him, telling him that I might want him to walk with my mom. That it didn't change the relationship, but that I didn't want any drama on my wedding day. I told my sister I didn't know what to do. And to you my readers, I really honestly didn't know what to do. The daughter in me that had been hurt time and time and time again did NOT want my dad walking me down the aisle... to be perfectly honest, part of me didn't even want him there at all. BUT, the bride in me didn't want the drama. I wanted my nana to give me a hug and kiss after the ceremony and tell me she loved me... she probably wouldn't even look at me if I excluded my dad. The bride in my wanted peace. The daughter in me didn't want to fake anything... because my dad has people who fake peace with him all the f-in time. The daughter in me wanted payback for all the pain he had caused me. The bride in me wanted PEACE.
And so, the team meeting shown above resulted in my sister talking to my dad, and eventually, to my dad walking on the other side of me. I would love to tell you all that I have no regrets with my decision, but that would be a lie. The daughter in me definitely regrets it. BUT, the bride in me was thankful to at least avoid drama on my wedding day. The daughter in me is ashamed at the decision, and for not being true to myself and my feelings. The bride in my sees pictures of me dancing with my nana at the reception and smiles. The daughter in me knows that I have no relationship with my dad, but I still allowed him to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. The bride in me also knows that I have no relationship with my dad, and that him walking me down the aisle was a concession for a simple and happy day. The WIFE in me knows that I can only move forward, knowing that I made the decision I felt most comfortable with at the time, and that my husband loves me and supports me every moment of every day, and he does not judge me for my decision. The WIFE in me knows that I have a man now that will never let me down, and this makes the hurt imposed by my father so much less significant.
And so brides, I can only tell you this: I empathize with all of you facing family dramas. No matter what decisions are made, family issues suck. They don't disappear on your wedding day. Have faith that the right decision will come to you, even if it is on the morning of your wedding. But also be prepared for the emotion... I thought I would be a rock, and I would be able to say f-you, this is my wedding. But emotions are real, and they will creep in, no matter how hard you work to keep them at bay. But, use the love and commitment of the support system you have assembled around you to make those difficult decisions... it will all work out in the end!
Good luck ladies! Thanks for listening, and thanks for you support. I hope my decision didn't let you all down.
Friday, October 9, 2009
I have made no secret of the fact that I found a LOT of my wedding inspiration in my precious Google Reader... from you all! I also make no secret of the fact that I do this shamelessly!! The simple fact is this... we read blogs to share in eachother's journeys, be inspired, support and get supported, laugh, swoon, and sometimes even debate! So, when you are under a time crunch, as most of us brides are, I don't think it is obligatory to add your own personal touch to an idea if you just straight up love it... COPY THAT IDEA!! Afterall, isn't this the greatest form of flattery?! So... since many blogging brides are not so upfront with admissions of wedding-plagiarism, I am here to write my reference list, and to give credit where credit is deserved!!
First up... a gift for my man!! I had been tossing back and forth whether or not I would look-like-crazy to get my hubs matching socks for the infamous sock-shot. I really loved those pics, but to be honest, it was just another thing to add to the to-do-list! I kept my eye out for fun purple-ish socks, of course to match my rocking purple heels, but never found anything great. So I kinda dropped this item to the back burner... not necessary, and only adding shopping time to my already jam-packed schedule! BUT, when I saw this post from Mrs. Lighting on Weddingbee, I knew I had to find a great pair!! She showed this awesome sock-wrapping idea that she originally found here, and I thought it was a perfect, simple, DIY fun job that would put a smile on my man's face the morning of the wedding! This is Mrs. Lighting version... "Just to make sure you don't get feet"
photo from here
So... I went to task... shopping! I broke down and went to Holt Renfrew where I knew I would find some fun socks, and I did! Purple Polka Dots ladies!! Yep, my man can rock the dots!! And then, well, then I copied Mrs. Lighting's wrapping idea, and this is how it turned out: (oh ya, I even used the same quote... cause it was perfect! "Just to make sure you don't get cold feet")
And I really think my man loved them. This is him putting them on the morning of the wedding... cute right?
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I am going to start recaps at the morning of the wedding... so many things happened leading up to the actual day, and I really do want to share these with you (and I will... promise!), but to be perfectly honest, I am starting here cause I have all of our professional pics to do the recaps with, and they weren't there the week leading up to the wedding!! So... withouth further adieu... the morning of the wedding... The alarm clock was set for 6:00am, and I woke up a little bit before it went off... I was getting married!!
I went into the washroom, and thought, wow... after all the hardwork, tears, exams, phone calls, paper cutting, discussions, workouts... wow, it was here!! I am not gonna lie peeps, I can't say the emotion was excitement. Nope, it was simply CALM. It was happening, I was ready, I had had a pretty good night’s sleep, most things were done (and even though I knew there were some things that quite simply wouldn't get done, I was still calm!!), I wasn't going to look outside at the weather, we were getting married! My cousin (and bridesmaid) came into the washroom, and told me I had to go back to bed... it was my wedding day, and I needed a bit more rest! So, without fighting her, I went back to bed. I knew our hair and make-up queen was to arrive at 7am, so I asked P-ah to wake me up then.
7am: things started rolling. I didn't do much... had coffee, wandered around the lodge admiring all the work my peeps had done the night before (while my girls and I were out for dinner!!), ate an apple... calm (borderline zombie!). just some of the handiwork of my ladies... beautiful right?! All the flowers were grown by my mom and step-mom, and arranged by my step-mom and about 5 girlfriends!!
and then my MOH, CC:
Still calm as can be... this little treat didn’t hurt:
So, the morning was off to a really great start! Jordy (our hair and makeup guru) is a friend, so it was really nice to be able to hang out with her too! I didn’t really leave the room much during the morning, so I didn’t have a clue what was going on in terms of set-up or anything else for that matter, so I remained in my state of calm bliss!! This is easy!!
I was always really worried I wouldn’t be able to be relaxed the morning of the wedding (hmmm... worried about being worried... not a great plan!), but the night before the wedding, I was out for dinner with my three girls eating the most delicious thai food in one of my fav little restaurants in Fernie, and we were laughing NON-STOP, not even thinking about the wedding... just hanging out!! I knew at that moment that the wedding was about spending time with your most favourite peeps... and I knew nothing would be able to ruin the day!! So, I enjoyed the whole process!! Everyone tells you that the day really flies by, and in some ways, it totally did, but to be honest, I really felt that the morning was relaxed, calm, and FUN!
Jessica, Miss Budget Savvy Bride, featured our wedding on her blog today!! This was so exciting because I gained so much inspiration, confidence, and knowledge from Jess over the course of our wedding planning, and she was one of those super-smart and "savvy" brides that got me into the whole blogging world! Thanks for your kind words Jess, and for helping me start the recap process!
When I emailed Miss BSB with the details of our wedding, I thanked her for getting me into the thought process for sharing our wedding with you, my readers! I have really struggled to figure out a way to put finger to keyboard, and to share the awesome details and emotions with you... I mean come on tiff, you have been married 1 month + a day... get the recaps started! I have been busy, true, but I think about writing every day, and have simply not known where to start. I told you that I wanted to recap by emotions, but the emotions are just so complex, it is tricky to package them! BUT, I promise, I will have a real-live post up this afternoon, starting at the beginning!!
Thanks again to Jess, and as always, head over to her blog for awesome wedding planning tricks and tips, and for wicked inspiration, check out the pics of her own recent wedding!!