Friday, July 16, 2010

Our Mountaintop Wedding - Lonely

Alright ladies, this might make some of you uncomfortable... kinda how our cocktail hour made me feel. BUT, you know the rules around here... you only get the straight up real-deal kinda wedding stuff here!

So, a bit of background... like MANY brides, we chose to do a first look so that we could have more TIME for photos, have a later ceremony that would flow right in to cocktail hour and the reception (I mean come on, we were getting married up on a mountain, it's not like there was a lounge that our guests could go wet their tongues at in between the ceremony and reception while we got our pictures taken!), and so we could mingle at our our own cocktail hour...

WELL, my sister, the perfect big sis that she is, warned me that the cocktail hour might not go as I had envisioned... something like this:

sis: "why do you want to go to your cocktail hour?"
me: "well, you know, so I have more time to visit with our guests..."
sis: "uhhh, ya, that's what I thought, but it doesn't really happen like that!"
me: "whatcha talking about?"
sis: "well, at our cocktail hour no one even talked to me?!"
me: "but EVERYONE wants to talk to the bride?!"
sis: "all I'm sayin is be prepared to kinda feel like a 'pink elephant' that no one wants to talk to!"
me: "that's ridiculous!!"

So, after our ceremony, we went outside, took a big ol' group photo, some family photos, and then we re-assembled upstairs for cocktail hour.

SIDENOTE: We had planned on having cocktails out on the balcony, but due to the weather inconsistencies, my invisible wedding fairies some how made it happen back upstairs where the wedding had just happened?! Seriously, I don't even know how this happened, BUT, while I was outside getting a few family pictures taken, my amazing friends/families/wedding fairies dismantled the ceremony site, finished the reception set-up (ie. ceremony chairs doubled as reception chairs!!), and assembled the cocktail hour upstairs... yep, AMAZING peeps I had on my side!!

So upstairs I went... expecting to be greeted by a lineup of excited guests to talk to the bride.... although the room was abuzz with chatter, laughs, hugs, and stories, I felt like I could here a pin drop. My sister was right, it was like I wasn't even there? At one point a grabbed a great friend of mine, and side, "heh, what's the deal, how come you're not coming to get a hug from me?!", and he just had the dazed look on his face and said, "you just look too beautiful, I don't even know what to do". Um what? Ladies, I am not tooting my own horn here... this was literally his excuse for not talking to me... and this friend is a TALKER and loves to chat my ear off?! I told him to stop being ridiculous, but the point was made... I was the pink elephant in the middle of the room... only I was a bride... wearing white...

Looking at the photos, it was clear everyone was having fun...

My mom was making the rounds...

As were my girls...

Yep, and my husband was doing the mingle... But seriously... not a single picture of the bride during cocktail hour?! Not that I care about the pics, it's just the proof in the puddin. To be perfectly honest, at one point, one of my girls, JB, came up to me and said "heh, how are you doing?" to which I replied... "seriously, no one is even talking to me... I'm not feeling it!". Being the AWESOME maid that she is, she looked me dead in the eye and said "wanna get outta here?"... HELL YES! The two of us went and sat in one of the suites in the lodge and had a glass of wine... BLISS!! Quiet, no pressure to mingle, we got to chillax and forget about our posture, and we got to LAUGH!!

Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate mingling... sometimes I actually love it! BUT, it really wasn't the vibe I was going for. I didn't want to have to "work the crowd"... I wanted laid back COOL! But apparently, right after a wedding ceremony, a bride in white doesn't exactly elicit a 'laid back cool' kinda vibe. I was glad my sis had warned me though, so that when I was confronted with this feeling of loneliness it didn't shock the crap outta me. I just thought to myself... "ohhh, this is what CC was talking about!".

anyone else out there feel LONELY during their cocktail hour?! Come on... it feels good to admit it! OR, if you loved your cocktail hour, maybe you can help us out and let us know what we did wrong...

all photos by the amazing [6:8] Photography

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  1. This is really interesting because that wasn't my experience at all! We spent cocktail hr with our guests and I got a chance to talk to probably 60-70% of them.

    My advice to a bride reading this would be to work the room; don't expect people to come to you. Also, do it WITH your groom. Strength in numbers and all that jazz. We were able to hit up his side and my side with ease. We spent maybe 5 minutes with each little group of people and it worked out really well. I'm sorry you had a not-so-great experience with this :(

  2. Em! Great advice!! I love the tip to stick with the hubs... I think that would have been a better choice for us! And yes, I probably should have 'worked the crowd'! PS... you looked freakin HOT on your wedding day girl!!

  3. Wow, I never would have thought this would be an issue. I can totally see why, especially if you are shy or uncomfortable in your dress or surroundings. I love Em's advice, totally spot on. I did the same thing Em did. I walked around thanking everyone for coming. Because I was sequestered away while guests were arriving, the cocktail hour was the first chance I got to thank them for sharing our day with us.

    I also think brides should consider what will make them feel comfortable and confident on that day. We had a relaxed outdoor BBQ that suited our personalities. Had we been in more formal settings, I might not have been as comfortable, which could have affected how I interacted with guests. I also would have felt more uncomfortable if my parents had invited a bunch of strangers. IDK.

    You did look stunning though!

  4. Our venue had an upstairs room where the bridal party hung out before we were introduced. I guess I was feeling a little anti social bc I didn't want to mingle until the actual reception was nice to just have the small group and relax for a bit.